Akito's Drunken Stupor
by flamingbunnies
Summary: Akito is bored to tears and decides to walk around the main house for fun. Somehow she gets ahold of some "juice". How will the day go?
1. Chapter 1

Oh. My. God. There is absolutely nothing to do in this freakin' house! I was sick of playing sick all the time and truth be told I was getting sick of the Seahorses attitude. He was always either sad or on a manic high. I swear he is majorly bipolar or something. I was SICK, SICK, SICK!!!!!!

Then I got the idea to try to learn to cook. Kureno wouldn't let me use the real kitchen though because he seems to think I am a pyromaniac. Okay I did _accidently _set Ritsu's tail on fire. But it was a total accident! I was doing a ceremony thing that required candles than the freakin' monkey decided to flip out and crashed into the maid (Female) and poofed into his form. The blast from his transformation sent him into my candles and his tail lit on fire. I did **not **hold the lighter out to his tail. He fell on a candle. I just laughed manically

So instead of a kitchen, Kureno decided it best if I learned how to cook like all the other little girls in the world and use the most horrible appliance in the world. And I use the term appliance very loosely. He wanted me to use an easy bake oven. A pink and purple thing that makes cardboard flavored confections. So there went that idea right out the front door. Heh I should have given it to Princess Yuki. He would have enjoyed it. Actually from what Shigure says he tends to burn soup so forget that idea.

The next thing I tried after cooking was nature walks. Mr. I know-everything-because-I'm-a-novelist said it was a good idea to let my anger out slowly with out hurting anybody. His idea to do this turned out to be walking on all the nature trails on the Sohma estate. This was not fun in the least. There were pricker bushes and roots that kept tripping me up. I came out wet because there was a random stream in the middle of no where and a slipped on a stick. I am, never asking for help from the dumb dog again!

Wait a minute! I can go exploring inside the house!! I bet I can figure out all the zodiacs horrible secrets! Muwahahahahahahaha!!! *Ahem* Excuse me I am sorry for that laughter. It comes out naturally.

First stop, Hatori's room. There has to be some major stuff in there. Like a diary or something. Walk walk walk. Wow I never realized how big this house was. Most likely cause I just sit around and scare people. Finally I'm here. And I know he's not there because I made him go out and buy me some pie. Cherry pie if you're wondering.

I slowly opened the as to not make anyone suspicious. HOLY CRAP!!!! His room is so messy! How the hell is his office so neat and tidy when his room is full of empty sake bottles and cigarette cases all over his floor?

Maybe he has Ayame come in and clean for him. He looks like a maid and I'm pretty sure he has the hoots for the snake ever since kana or whatever her name was got her memory erased. Ok it was sorta my fault but I told Hatori I needed some kind of meds! Then I punched him in the face. Heh heh heh. Whoops. Lawl. Nope, I'm not crazy at all. At least I haven't been in any asylums lately.

So as I was looking in his room I found a locked cupboard. Of course the key was in plain sight otherwise he might not be able to find it in this dump. I opened the closet and found a bunch of bottles of what looked like fruit punch. I opened one and sniffed it. Wasn't a very appealing smell but what the heck? I drank it anyway.

It tasted a little better than it smelled and was sorta like grape juice. Yuuummm. It started to get really warm and I felt kinda light headed. There wasn't anything else that was really interesting so I decided t go to another room. I grabbed the bottle of juice and tried to walk out of his room. I tried, but this wall got in my way. I swear I need to talk to Ummmm… crap what was his name ummm ummm. GAH!!! I'll remember it later.

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So this idea was created from me reading Tsuki no kimi's Maniac Diaries. It is a totally awesome story that pwns. It is hilarious. I hope mine isn't anything like hers though cuz that is called stealing and is in most fact illeagal. And I really like Kimi-Chan!! She's nice and hilarious. So this probally sucks a lot. There WILL be more chaps later.


	2. Chapter 2

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I had finally made my way out of Hatori's room. Hey I remembered the Bastard's name yay! As I was walking down the hall I heard various voices and so I decided to look in the closest room. Bad idea all the things fell out and on top of me. I threw the bottle of "juice" out of harms way, but it hit Shigure on the head and knocked him unconscious. Whoops. At least the bottle's intact. I didn't want people to trip so I shoved him in the closet. Then put all the stuff back. On top of Shigure.

I was walking past a mirror when I suddenly saw my reflection. I was like the keeper of the underworld or something. Why didn't any one tell me my face was this scary?!?!(Spaceballs Reference) I took another sip of the juice and got an idea. I ran to the living room and found a couple rubber band and put my hair into two bunches on the side of my head.

I couldn't find any make up in the living room so I checked out the bathroom. There was a lot there. Problem was I didn't know how to put a lot of it on. So I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed a random thing of mascara and just slobbed it on my eyes. Next came the blush. I think it goes on the cheeks so giant circles of red appeared on my cheeks. I looked in the mirror and gasped. I looked gorgeous.

I also needed to change my outfit because I looked like the grim reaper and when I went to the rice ball girl's school everyone was wearing Sailor uniforms! I wanna look like Sailor Moon~ Desu. I found a medium sized one in the bathroom closet. It was a little big in the top so I stuffed it with toilet paper.

I ran out of the bathroom and down the hall. I had to find someone to share this beauty with. I walked into a room where the TV was on. The sheep kid was playing video games. Suddenly I got the urge to cuddle something and so I threw my arms around him "YAY Sheep are so fuzzy!!!!"

He turned around and freaked out he screamed really loudly. "Help there's a random freaky chick with bad make-up in here trying to rape me!!!!" Rin came running. Then she stopped. She tilted her head then burst out laughing. "I'll help you in a minute Hiro. I just need to go get something.

She came back a few minutes later with a camera. "Ooooohh Rin-chan are you taking pictures?!?!?! I wanna pose!" I started doing random poses. Hands on my hips. Pouty face. Fish lips. I did them all. Then the sheep had to ruin the fun and go "So who exactly is this chick anyway?" Rin promptly burst out laughing again. "Go ahead and tell him your name!" She managed to breathe out.

I looked at her then at Hiro. "My name is Aki-Chan!" Rin fell over on the floor laughing. I have no idea why though. Maybe she needs to lay off the wine.

**If anything doesn't make sense just tell me in a review and I'll try to come up with a reason for it. Also remember that Akito is a girl in this story and she's drunk as all hell. I feel so sorry for Hito though. lol**

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